i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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