He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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