Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
