If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
