Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
