i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
