Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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