Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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