Do you still have your period?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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