who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
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I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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