forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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