I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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