Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
