I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
