Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
