ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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