He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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