i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
