Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
