i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
only if we run a train.
done.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
