have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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