of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
