I wish my penis had an off switch
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
