If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
