1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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