were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
