I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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