Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
