You're so nebulous sometimes
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
