5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
