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I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
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