just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother