Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.

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(561): So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon. http://tfl.nu/ni4o

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(864): View more from South Carolina

just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside

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(864): just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside http://tfl.nu/pna6

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(817): View more from Texas

She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.

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(817): She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up. http://tfl.nu/2rkk

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month

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(715): isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month http://tfl.nu/ybux

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(330): View more from Ohio

If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.

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(330): If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor. http://tfl.nu/a98x

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(650): View more from California

She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine

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(650): She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine http://tfl.nu/h16d

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(775): View more from Nevada

she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend

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(775): she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend http://tfl.nu/wdj0

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down

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(580): true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down http://tfl.nu/hwj1

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(925): View more from California

Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.

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(925): Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious. http://tfl.nu/2nhd

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(301): View more from Maryland

I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America

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(301): I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America http://tfl.nu/e24l

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.

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(217): I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times. http://tfl.nu/aihm

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(231): View more from Michigan

I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.

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(231): I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/j7wr

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(407): View more from Florida

Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.

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(407): Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits. http://tfl.nu/yyb3

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(315): View more from New York

First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on

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(315): First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on http://tfl.nu/9jq6

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster

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(603): I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster http://tfl.nu/t24y

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