Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
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I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.