Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized

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  (913): So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized http://tfl.nu/gtwy
  Replies (53) Good night (5093) Bad night (997)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  How did people poop without Blackberrys?

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Motorola Razers?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Stone age, man.

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  (902): How did people poop without Blackberrys? (416): Motorola Razers? (902): Stone age, man. http://tfl.nu/a751
  Replies (53) Good night (4240) Bad night (870)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes

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  (610): I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes http://tfl.nu/4awr
  Replies (7) Good night (3613) Bad night (807)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.

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  (402): Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then. http://tfl.nu/941i
  Replies (24) Good night (5054) Bad night (1130)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.

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  (971): Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them. http://tfl.nu/y8vc
  Replies (10) Good night (3639) Bad night (1525)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.

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  (775): Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I. http://tfl.nu/56to
  Replies (3) Good night (1197) Bad night (2548)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.

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  (515): i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/608m
  Replies (7) Good night (836) Bad night (2867)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor

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  (412): I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor http://tfl.nu/ext1
  Replies (5) Good night (975) Bad night (2099)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.

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  (330): it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with. http://tfl.nu/kix9
  Replies (9) Good night (1265) Bad night (619)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.

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  (410): Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week. http://tfl.nu/e9o5
  Replies (1) Good night (919) Bad night (479)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake

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  (706): He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake http://tfl.nu/0u2m
  Replies (5) Good night (1004) Bad night (385)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I love you.

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  (214): Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants. (1-214): I love you. http://tfl.nu/sgzz
  Replies (5) Good night (2523) Bad night (541)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"

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  (630): There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!" http://tfl.nu/d703
  Replies (2) Good night (1030) Bad night (265)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.

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  (469): TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low. http://tfl.nu/y5ae
  Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (238)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.

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  (334): Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks. http://tfl.nu/nhv4
  Replies (1) Good night (189) Bad night (584)

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