Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
we're so committed to being not committed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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