i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
