I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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