i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
