So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
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Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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