Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
