I think i peed on brittanys purse
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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