Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
