I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize