I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
