Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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