so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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