I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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