There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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