I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
