heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
