I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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