Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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