I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
