So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
