Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My bed smells like the plague
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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