i would punch a child for taco bell
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I deserve this hangover.
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