uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
