I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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