dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's never too late to be topless.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
