hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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