i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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